11 Mar 08 Back To Starting Point — 回到起点

Recently, I am feeling lost, lots of things are changing rapidly. Suddenly I realized I have been working(offically) for almost a year. I want take tonight to write something, describing things I still remember, and I still care.

And, the most important thing, to let you all know more about me, to let myself understand myself more.

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Look back at the past year, I barely find anything I feel proud of. but let’s see from this list

Goal/Result/Explanation.

G: find a job
R: find XXX.
E: find a job at XXX, it is not in my goal list. XXX is beyond my dream during that time. Actually, I think I have changed my opinion (except the “small kitchen” part). Though it is a good company to work in, job description/position is the most important part. Working in big company means you lost most of sight of outside world. I am so shamed saying that I am a “operation tech”, because most of work we do, doesn’t have anything related to “operaton”, it is customer support. I really mean it! I really hope I understand all this that before, but I don’t. So, call me XXXer, though I am so shamed to name myself using it.

G: find a career path
R: faild, rolling back to starting point.
E: I can’t say too much about the details, but I am really feeling that I missed a lot of chances. Though it is not the end of the world, I really feel so frustrated. Chances are everywhere, no matter when, to win, you should head for it, right? Chances never wait.
G: find a secorday career
R: Nothing changed, I am still doing te same thing as primary career

G: find “her”
R: completlly failed
E: NO EXPLANATION.

Maybe that’s because I am only a normal man, working in a normal way, same as others. I have dreams, and I am too weak to fight for it hardly. I changed my goal a lot during this year, and ‘ve been used to accepting the changes.

People always say, “when you grow up, you will know”.

Now I am grow up, and I still don’t know, even not knowing where to find the answer.

Sigh.